Body Combat

Actually, body combat is a very apt term at the moment, for the body, at least mine, is trying very hard to combat the calories that have been mercilessly and mindlessly piled on in this week of culinary excesses. Buffet dinners, dinner banquets, even induced bulimia didnt help very much. The numbers on the scale moved faster than those numbers you see on those countdown timers for bombs. And you cant even choose to cut the red or green wire.

On Saturday, I started the day off most healthily, by going to jog with frog in Lake Gardens. Frog is a friend who works in Singapore, and everytime is town, calls me for a jog. Our timing is deteriorating, used to take 25 minutes to finish the circuit, now it takes 27 minutes.

Then, stupidly ambitious, I still made my way for Body Combat with my Favourite Diva Instructor. The familiar faces looked like they all just woke up from a 100 year sleep. Sidekick, who is now a qualified instructor, had hair like a wig!!! Sunshine too looked like she had just emerged from hibernation. Congratulations sidekick on being upgraded to main star from sidekick.

Hmmm, FDI's used the same warm up, and several songs from last week....which is fine by me. Darn good sweat, I just LOVE it when sweat rolls down your arms, soaking you in that saline solution. Feels so liberating. FDI also was doing his Body Balance clearance.....

Boy Robin came up to me asking for his angpow. Well, let me clarify my criteria for angpow giving. The recipient must be 1. unmarried, 2. unemployed, 3. a virgin. If you qualify, let me know. (its AND and not OR)

The Consequences of Pigging Out

KONG HEY FART CHOY everyone. Well, its that debaucherous time of the year again, where it's eat, drink, gamble, eat, drink, gamble.... and no exercise. But to be fair, between last Saturday and today, a span of a week, I have managed to go to the gym twice, which by standards of the average sedentary lifestyle person, is not bad, considering prescribed exercise by doctors etc are minimum 3 times a week.

Last Saturday, the last class of the Bitch year, I was in the Curve, as usual, paying my RM2 buck each direction toll on the Penchala Link, and RM1 carpark.... however, this time, there was a bonus. We had THREE instructors on stage, namely, FDI, Nikeboy (back from Singapore for CNY) and err... Lin Li? making it a 1:4 ratio of instructors to students, as the studio was eerily empty. However, it really was a case of quality over quantity, for it turned out to be a great class, full of energy, and damn exhausting. By track 4, it was huff huff puff puff.... probably exacerbated by irregular attendance in the preceding week as well. Since the class was so long ago, and many brain cells have been killed by alcohol since then, I can't really recall much else. FDI did his signature evil laugh track. It's nice to have lots of space to move around in the studio actually.

Then it was chor 1, 2, 3, all non gym days for me.... until wednesday, when I thought I really had to go, so went for Horny's pump, which was really crowded. All the usual flers were there, back in full force. Couldn't stay on for RPM so decided to do the treadmill instead. Intended to go for step on Thursday lunch, but was stuck with the massive queues in the immigration dept, making passports for the kids. Actually, just missed the class by 10 minuts.

Happy Oinking

I'm going into shut down mode. Really should be going for Body Pump this evening, and FDI's combat at curve, which is the last class for tomorrow....but let's see the power of gravitational forces. Meanwhile, wishing all you chinks, full or half or part, out there, a very healthy, happy, prosperous, year of the pig. May the Pig Fly!!! Gong Xi Fa Cai.

Planks

Planks seem to get a bad rap. Thick as two planks, walk the plank, DO the plank. Planks and triceps dips, ...my two personal "cannot dos". Actually, plank can lah, but until shaking like a drug addict going cold turkey. Triceps dips, hmmmph.

Went for Horny's pump class, since there was no in-laws dinner, and I didnt have to occupy myself until late evening. The composition of the class is more or less the same ppl in YI's Monday class, ie, the 4.45 pumpers. Without Lionheart in the class, everyone, including "Newman", seems to take a breather. Horny mumbled something about choosing not so hard tracks, coz she has 6 pumps in the week, but yeah, right, I bet if Lionheart was there.... !!!! Which reminds me, Lionheart, we want a written account of your birthday pump. (as in Body Pump)

Speaking of which, I read in the papers that those people who used to do aerobics in the 80s and 90s, ala Jane Fonda, (FDI, nudge nudge wink wink), Olivia Newton John, (I didnt know she did aerobics....to what song ah? Physical), etc, are now paying the price, with decayed hips, osteoperosis, etc, etc etc and so forth. How scary.

One So Orange, One So Pink

I swear the clocks in MJH are at least 5 minutes fast. Coz as far as I was concerned, I arrived just on time, even managed to get registered, but by the time I got changed, and entered the class, they were already on the left leg of the warm up.

Obviously FCI doesnt read this blog, coz he was doing it again. ie, teaching the class facing the mirror. To make things worse, the front line was very very far behind the front, as illustrated in the diagram below. I am orange, another girl entered in bright pink, hence the remark by FCI, one so orange, one so pink. After track one, we had a surprise guest, Barney KH, aka FDI, who managed to escape FCI's vision for a whole track. After the warm up, I kinda signalled to FCI that we were a bit cramped... so he finally turned around to face the class, and the whole front line could move forward a bit. I noticed they've also made an enclosure for the AV system, so that its almost flushed with the front mirrors, which gives a little bit more space. Afterall, space in damansara heights is VERY expensive. Usual flers were there at the class. Energy levels these days seem a lot lower than I remember it to be, not as many screamers. I think with people like Wani etc not around, there's no real scream leader. Certifiable Stevie wasn't there either, usually FCI can count on him to raise the hysteria.

Interesting muay thai, havent done that one for a long time. Dunno what its called, but lots of 4 knees on each side. And a whole chunk in between of just flailing arm movements, ascending, descending, elbows....which went on and on and on...

FDI later went on to team teach Body Jam with Kenny. Sunshine had earlier sms-ed me to ask if I'd be joining jam. Well, truth be told, when I DO join, ahem, I'd expect a larger audience....yhsmom, lionheart, FCI all will have to be there to make the experience more memorable. Also, I told FDI, since I was rushing off to dinner, I didn't want to try just one track. What if after one track syiok oridi, then how? Like foreplay without climax. Sunshine gave a very innocent expression, asking, "what's wrong with that?"......

Err.....nothing, I guess.

Happy Birthday LionHeart

Haven't been to the gym since last Tuesday's combat, coz have been away, in Kuching, and was also not very well the days preceding my departure.

ANYWAY, it's FF's most famous GXM (group exercise member)'s birthday today, so, WISHING YOU A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, with many many more to come, and may your squat weights reach 25kg on each side....

T Rex Leon

I wonder how our suffering T Rex Leon is coming along.

Anyway, yesterday was combat as usual. Surprisingly, lots of slots still available as at 6.35pm, managed to register with time to spare. The class seems quieter than normal, literally. The shouters, save for certifiable Steve, who cut his eye during muay thai, seem absent. How he managed to gash himself on the upper eyelid is a mystery. He looked quite comical with a band aid on his upper eye lid, but it wasn't until after class that I saw the gash. Sometimes we are our own worse enemy, and inflict pain on ourselves in what is meant to be combat...with an imaginary opponent.

I dunno what possessed FCI to suddenly do the class with his back facing us, ie, like doing the class with us, non mirror image. Apart from the fact that MJH has no stage, and he's not exactly Mt Everest, it makes it quite difficult to see him. If I were standing at the back, I am sure I wouldn't be able to see. Oh well, that's my personal opinion.... maybe some people prefer the instructor to be non mirror image, easier to follow. It becomes confusing, for slow witted people like me, when its a side move, then you forget if he's actually mirror image, or if you're supposed to follow him. Like in the muay thai, when you have 2 front jabs, then 2 side ascendings and then two knees. I confuse lah. What to do, old and slow liao.

The cooldown song is my least favourite of all the cooldowns. Not sure what the title is, but I think it was in the release after Breathe Easy. The one that sounds like a funeral dirge. Conditioning, tough. It's that one with the half triceps half biceps pushups, and upper halves and lower halves before changing sides. Salute the Lafarge Fellow (also fellow classmate in Leon's class) in front of me who could complete the entire set on his toes. Actually, can one lah, just out of practise.


LATEST UPDATE: yhsmom said this particular dinosaur is cuter. Leon, dont kill me ya, go kill her....

He Wants To See Pigs Fly

That's what FSI said when the Line Dance Funk class started. Pointed me in the direction of the studio. Yar, right, you think so easy ah?!!! (to see pigs fly) He was also patting himself on the back for switching the class from Jam to LDF, as the numbers seemed to have soared.

But I am not here to talk about Jam or LDF. YI announced that he will be off to the land of the rising sun for a month, and FSI said that if he clears his pump on time, he'll teach. Now, won't THAT be a nice sight, hor Lionheart!!!! We must all absolutely make it a point to come for his inaugural pump. (yhsmom, take note).

I really admire those dedicated people who can pump iron on a regular basis. What is it? Is it sheer discipline? There must be some underlying passion involved as well. I dont think discipline alone is enough to sustain such a regime. I have absolutely NO passion for weights. The ONLY reason I do pump is to prevent too much sagging. The only worse thing than being fat, is being fat, flabby and have sagging breasts. It's better to have all the fat coagulated into one hard konyaku jelly texture.

So, that is why I still do pump. Not that I am toned by any yardstick, but I think it does help from preventing a total Jabba the Hutt composition. Baffles me how it doesn't get any easier. What I do find actually is, the first class after a brief hiatus IS actually slightly easier, but the class FOLLOWING that class, is where suffering begins. I dunno how people like Lion can do it daily. (instructors are different, coz they're young....even then, some of them are looking pretty charn)

YI's biceps track was particularly difficult, I found, as was the chest track. Dunno title of the song, but the biceps had these 8 bottom halves and 8 top halves, 3 sets of each, topped off by a generous dollop of singles...I felt like a T Rex myself after this class.

Actually, in this day and age, all these muscle flers are purely for show only, if you ask me. I'm not sure if ingesting heaps of protein to bulk up is healthy at all. I've seen protein pillows bulk up and shrink at the snap of a finger.... all these chiselled taufus; at least in the old days, there was USE for muscle, ...ploughing the land, killing your enemies with a sword, carrying stones to build the pyramids...don't think anyone in Menara John Hancock does these things.

Weekend Gym, and Surprise Pump Visitor

It’s exasperating. Streamyx is acting up, and once again, I cannot blog. So since I have some free time on my hands, I’m preparing this draft on a word document.

Friday evening, after a long week, (and a public holiday the day before), I could feel the lure of the OSIM massage chair, but remembered its normal outcome, so decided not to yield to temptation, just before intended gym class. As at 6.10 or so, I was still in two minds as to whether or not I wanted to go and pump, though I vaguely recall telling Richelle during the durian ice cream rendezvous that I’ll be there. I dragged myself against the forces of gravity, and finally managed to have lift off. Yhsmom was just behind me, in the car park. While milling around the studio entrance, all of a sudden, a bright fluorescent green assailed my vision, and lo and behold, it was Leon!!!! It wasn’t his complexion that was green, like the Wicked Witch of the West, but his attire. Now, if FCI had seen the way my face lit up when I saw him, I am sure I’d have heard no end of it. It’s just that it was a pleasant surprise. Richelle announced that since Lionheart wasn’t around, we could all have a break. I think Lion was doing One Night In Bangkok…or a few nights…

I made the mistake of standing behind Leon, coz he’s tall, and it afforded me a full view of his posterior, and blocked my view of Richelle…. But it was nice to see him suffer though. Halfway during biceps, he apparently developed a finger cramp. Go figure. Also, I dunno what Richelle said that was so funny, I missed it, but our friend was keeling over with laughter…a ploy, I suspect, not to appear like he’s scivving his biceps track. Great class as usual. Richelle kept referring to Lap Cheong. (sausage). Just as a casual footnote, those who donno who Richelle is, well, she got that name coz she’s a cross between Riyo and Michelle…

OH, I forgot to mention, that on the Wilayah Day class, FCI for the first time made such an obvious choreo error…HAHAHAH!!! The man is not perfect after all. Plonk, he falls from the pedestal.

Saturday, THE CURVE. Whether I liked it or not, I’d have to make my way to the Curve, as I had to deliver something to sunshine. Earlier on, FSI called on Sunshine’s phone asking me to come for body step. Much as I would have loved to, I think these old bones cannot take Step and Combat back to back….despite the gym being equipped with Phillips Defribillators.

Leon arrived shortly after I did, and as usual, had no shortage of fans flocking to talk to him. Met some “secret identity” people, like KF, and Lilo. I donno how KF knew who I was, but she came up to me and introduced herself. I think it’s time to lose the goatie.

Despite being supposedly worn out and semi injured from Friday’s pump, he certainly chose some very exhausting tracks, like track two, which has the triple roundhouse and karate punch. By track 4, I was thinking, aiyo, only track 4 ah!!! About 30-40% of the tracks were similar to FCI’s class on Thursday, ….hmmm, what are the odds right. During the conditioning, Leon made a remark about the moves being very Jane Fonda. I could sense that maybe all of 2 people in the whole class apart from him, knew who Jane Fonda is. Sure enough, Sidekick has never heard of her.

All the usual faces there. Am getting to know more people as the weeks go by, so don’t feel so stranger there anymore. In any case, I no longer have a choice, for Saturday combat….as Nikeboy has left his Manulife slot of 3 years…so looks like I’m stuck at the Curve for now, for Saturday afternoons. Of course, if I opted for non combat classes, the choice would be wider.

HAHA, FDI told me this morning that his biceps were still aching, as a result, he had to sleep with his arms outstretched, like a T Rex. Aww, isnt that adorable.

Choosing Class On A Public Holiday

Public holidays, much as I love them, throws routine off course, and one is left with the very difficult decision as to which class to attend. Why should it make a difference? Because, with four kids in tow, expecting to be entertained on a non school day, and basic filial piety, offering lunch to parents, and making allowance for possible hangovers, (alas, these are getting fewer and fewer, was bemoaning the fact that I need to make more new younger happening friends who still go out on the eve of a public holiday) makes selection so much harder.

To summarise the thought process through which selection and decision is derived, basically, the first criteria is a convenient location. Not much use if FDI for eg, is teaching in Island Plaza. So, we start off with the obvious choice, MJH, where parking is free, and is toll free.

Based on this, FSI was teaching, but at 11.30am, which was a bummer, coz I had lunch plans at 12noon. So that was out. Then I sms-ed FDI to see if HE was teaching anywhere, but he wasn't, the lazy sod, so since there wasn;t much choice left, it led me to FCI, in the next nearest location on after MJH.

Anyway, lots of dedicated fans were up and about, ready to combat. The studio was nicely full, not TOO crowded, but certainly, not enough space for you to lay a mat and have a picnic. I couldn't help but notice that FCI looked a bit "charn", (haggard), but later on found out he was ill the night before. Pore thang.

The tracklist was about 70% same as tuesday night, including the conditioning, though the cooldown was different. Being an early morning class, it took a while to get the vocal engines started, and it was like an upstream against the current battle. Some very screamy ladies in that class. At least on Tuesday in MJH, we can always rely on Certifiable Stevie to give that impetus.

On a separate note, I must buy a lottery of sorts. Tell me, WHAT are the odds of this happening. I hardly ever eat ice cream, but for some bizarre reason, on Wednesday night, I was at Ikano, and got lured to New Zealand ice cream. I vaguely remembered one my credit cards had a 15% discount on Durian Flo. (it's not named after one of the famous Ex FF body pump instructors, Lionheart's previous FCI). So, I ordered one only to realise that I didnt bring that credit card. Anyway, here I am tucking into a very calorific durian flo, when I bump into IFPI, (interim Favourite Pump instructress), Richelle. Somehow, being seen by an instructor, with an ice cream in hand, is like being caught committing adultery.

I mutter something about oh, you must try this, its really good...(apparently wife saw her buying the same thing later).... and hurried off. Then, LAST night, in mega mall, I go up the escalator, only to notice that there's a new Gelato Kiosk...and guess what flavour they had??!!! DURIAN GELATO!!! I ask for a taste, and YUMMY, it was EXCELLENT!!!! So I thought, okay, a single scoop wont kill me, I can work it out by walking around mega mall, from metrojaya to jusco to carrefour....

So here I am tucking into a very sinful durian gelato, and LO and Behold, I bump into this young chap, wearing a black (what do you call those woolen caps that robbers and skiers wear? a baclava?) ....who turns out to be none other that Young Pump Instructor. Again, incoherent babble flows forth....

Ah well.